Poopmonkey Junction

So, to balance out all the negativity that usually clutters up this Junction of Monkeys that Poop, I thought I’d take a moment and mention some of the cool things that have been enhappying my life. Throw a little curve ball at y’all, just to keep you on your toes.

So, first thing I should mention is that TransMooCow and RoofMonkey were recently married! Yay! I can’t tell you how gleeful I am at the news. From now on, I will refer to them as TransRoof or possibly RoofMooCow, I haven’t decided yet. I will be accepting votes! Anywho, congratulations to them, and many wishes for many happies.

I recently bought the three Core books for the new Dungeon & Dragons 4th Edition, which is cool. I really like the new system and default setting assumptions, and actually feel a huge need to play D&D for the first time in over a decade. Of course, in a perfect world I’d get to actually play the game, and I’m involved in a vague plan with Shael Riley to try and get a group together if we can just find a DM. In the meantime, le sigh, I have been prepping to DM myself, studying the rules and running mock combats in search of grokking. I ran a short session with some RP and a small combat encounter with my cousin, Neftosis, which was fun. Hopefully, I’ll at least get to do that some, in the future. We shall see.

As usual, I’ve been playing some random games. The mainstay has been Rock Band, which is still awesome. I’ve gotten to the point where I am comfortable with songs on Hard, in general, and I’m working through the Expert solo campaign. In the Hard campaign, I’m stuck at “Enter Sandman”, which is totally killing me. I can get approximately 70% of the way through on a good day. Blarg. One bad thing is that I think my guitar is busted, I can push down on the strum bar and connect, but if I pull up on it nothing happens 99.9% of the time. Poop. I totally blew the warranty when I opened it up to fix it, only to find it’s a newer generation git, and has a different mechanism that I didn’t know how to repair. I gotta figure it out, though, since there are some songs I can’t physically get past on Expert without that up stroke.

Other than Rock Band, I’ve been playing a spot of City of Heroes, and a bunch of Age of Conan. AoC is pretty cool, but I doubt I’ll play it past my free month. Aside from those three, I’ve also been playing other totally random things, such as stuff from a folder on my desk called “Indie Platformers”, stuff like Knytt. I’ve even gotten into weird Flash games like Fashion Solitaire. I know!

I enjoyed the last few games of the NBA Finals. Seeing KG finally get a trophy was totally worth seeing hated Boston get one.

I’m totally into Ninja Warrior and Unbeatable Banzuke, on the usually horrible G4. Speaking of which, have you seen this? Here’s more info (lookit news from 6/17/08).

Okay, that’s enough babbling. Time to go check out the RPG.net forums, where I am a Viking.

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Hello. Yesterday was my birthday. I turned 34 of your Earth years old.

Getting old bites. Don’t do it.

I’m looking at jobs again on the internet, and came across the following. Please note, this is in no way abnormal; this is in many ways totally indicative of what the average job listing I see is like. Seriously.

-Responsible for driving Company vehicle to perform pick-up/delivery service for customers. Pick-up duties encompass driving to the customer’s place of business, receiving completed masters for photocopying orders and picking up supplies and inventory items from vendor’s place of business. Delivery duties include delivering finished photocopy orders to customers and distributing marketing materials as requested.

-Performs customer service activities including greeting customers, upselling products and completing order form including customer name, phone number, date taken, due date/time, assisting the customer in identifying paper types, finishing needs, and turnaround time. After delivering finished product to customer, may accept payment and according to policies and procedures, process payment against the customer’s invoice and record the transaction.

-Responsible for operation of Company Vehicle according to applicable motor vehicle regulations, Company policy and auto insurance guidelines and for ensuring the proper upkeep and maintenance of the vehicle by conducting regular servicing and cleaning procedures. Responsible for maintaining Pickup/Delivery logs and vehicle maintenance logs to document duties performed.

-Responsible for performing in store production/retail duties as requested. May also be requested to perform outside maintenance activities as directed.

-Performs all other duties as needed or requested.

-Compensation: $11

Let’s take a closer look at this. First you drive around a lot in a company vehicle (which is usually a POS of some sort due to the abuse which comes from being constantly driven), acting as a delivery guy, plus a sales guy and a payment processing guy. You’re responsible for maintaining the vehicle - which isn’t yours, mind you - as well as maintaining the logs which document that you are caring for the vehicle. Huh? You are also responsible for maintaining the pickup and delivery logs, which totally makes sense, no beef there. You are also, finally, tasked with being a regular production/retail guy in the store as requested, along with “outside maintenance activities,” whatever those are, as well as “all other duties” as needed. Right.

What a load of shit. Let’s see how much they want to pay you for this. … $11? Really? Let’s do some math. Let’s say you work a full 40 hour week. Let’s say that you get a full 52 weeks out of the year worth of pay, with vacation and sick hours factored in. Let’s say that you have a basic tax rate of 10.66% or so, which comes out to (very approximately) .894. So, maths: 11 x 40 x 52 x .894 = $20,455.

Am I crazy? Am I just totally skewed in how I view the world? Or, is that just a ridiculously small amount of money to expect someone to be able to live in New York City on? Considering what you are expected to do on the job?

I don’t know. I guess I could just be spoiled. Or just an asshole or something. But, this kinda thing just depresses the hell out of me. Seriously.

Despite not having a job and thus theoretically being able to get as much sleep as I want, I’m constantly exhausted and irritable. However, as Ani DiFranco sang, “maybe you don’t like your job / maybe you didn’t get enough sleep / well, nobody likes their job / nobody got enough sleep.” Taking that to heart, I’m not going to say any more.

Sadly, this does mean I haven’t got anything to say, really. Um.

I’m playing City of Heroes again. It is fun. I am tempted by the new Age of Conan MMO, which looks awesome. I somehow cut the back of my hand with my laundry basket, I have no idea how. Um. I play Rock Band a lot. Yeah. I’m done.

I Am A: Neutral Good Human Bard/Wizard (2nd/2nd Level)

Ability Scores:

Strength-11

Dexterity-15

Constitution-11

Intelligence-14

Wisdom-14

Charisma-13

Alignment:
Neutral Good A neutral good character does the best that a good person can do. He is devoted to helping others. He works with kings and magistrates but does not feel beholden to them. Neutral good is the best alignment you can be because it means doing what is good without bias for or against order. However, neutral good can be a dangerous alignment because it advances mediocrity by limiting the actions of the truly capable.

Race:
Humans are the most adaptable of the common races. Short generations and a penchant for migration and conquest have made them physically diverse as well. Humans are often unorthodox in their dress, sporting unusual hairstyles, fanciful clothes, tattoos, and the like.

Primary Class:
Bards often serve as negotiators, messengers, scouts, and spies. They love to accompany heroes (and villains) to witness heroic (or villainous) deeds firsthand, since a bard who can tell a story from personal experience earns renown among his fellows. A bard casts arcane spells without any advance preparation, much like a sorcerer. Bards also share some specialized skills with rogues, and their knowledge of item lore is nearly unmatched. A high Charisma score allows a bard to cast high-level spells.

Secondary Class:
Wizards are arcane spellcasters who depend on intensive study to create their magic. To wizards, magic is not a talent but a difficult, rewarding art. When they are prepared for battle, wizards can use their spells to devastating effect. When caught by surprise, they are vulnerable. The wizard’s strength is her spells, everything else is secondary. She learns new spells as she experiments and grows in experience, and she can also learn them from other wizards. In addition, over time a wizard learns to manipulate her spells so they go farther, work better, or are improved in some other way. A wizard can call a familiar- a small, magical, animal companion that serves her. With a high Intelligence, wizards are capable of casting very high levels of spells.

Find out What Kind of Dungeons and Dragons Character Would You Be?, courtesy of Easydamus (e-mail)
(Edited to note that I have totally de-fuxxored the above link, and it now works. Thanks TransMooCow!)

I was listening to the radio in the car the other day, driving over to my brother’s house to drop off a package that had showed up at my house that day (being home all day has its advantages). While listening to the local “alt rock” station, they played some oldish Smashing Pumpkins and Metallica from around ‘92, and I had this huge rush of nostalgia for that time in my life. I was 18, immortal, doing lots of drugs and drinking like a fish, and it was all going to be okay. Somehow.

I don’t really miss the lifestyle, I’ll tell ya, but I do miss that feeling of invincibility, and okayness. So, of course, in this day and age, what all this means is that I went online and grabbed the Pumpkins‘ Gish and Siamese Dream albums, and Metallica’s Black album, posthaste.

Right now, I am listening to Gish, and man, is it taking me back (and also, it is hella good). Blasting it on my crappy boom box, which sat on the floor inside my door, aimed towards the hall, where me and my friends were lazing about on the floor, backs to the wall, shooting the shit and rocking out. Yeah.

Rock.

When I was 18, for graduation I asked my parents to buy me a nice pair of black, 14-hole Doc Martens. Man o’ man, I loved those boots, they were so awesome. This was way back in 1992, by the way. Anyway, I knew that my Docs weren’t as good as the old school Docs manufactured in the UK in the 60s and 70s, but still, I loved ‘em. When they finally got too scraped up to use as my regular shoes (patched up with duct tape, I wore ‘em for another couple of years anyway), I got a pair of ox-blood red, 14-hole Doc Martens - the last pair the retailer had, since they apparently had stopped making them. Those boots were also the awesome, and I wore ‘em for many years, taped up with gaff tape for the last couple.

So, here I am, almost 16 years later, thinking about getting a new pair 14-hole or so boots. Doc Martens are now made in China, since 2003, and I’m not sure I want to buy a pair, since I doubt that they will be as well made as the old pairs I had. Plus, I’ve been spoiled by some really great and comfortable pairs of work boots and one pair of ridiculously awesome Fluevogs. However, I must ask, am I wrong to be leery of the China-made Docs? Anybody know?

If I’m not…I’m looking for info on a good pair of 14-hole or so boots. I heard good things about the Solovair brand, which is still made in the UK and which is made by the folks who used to make Doc Martens soles way back, before Doc Martens internalized that aspect of production. I also heard that actually finding these boots might be tough, since they apparently have some distribution problems.

Basically, I’m looking for an awesome pair of tall boots, supple and yet strong, like my old Docs. Anybody got any ideas?

…I’m totally fired for that horrible pun.

Anyway, time to do a blog info-dump about what’s currently going on in my life. I’ll try not to whine too much.

I’m still unemployed. Monster.com hasn’t been of any real use in trying to find a job. Neither has Craigslist. I am thinking of signing up with a temp agency, but whenever I do any research on one here in NYC, I get annoyed at how archaic and stupid they all seem. Whenever I see “we only accept faxed resumes, no emails” I shrug and strike that agency off of my list. As you can guess, my list is currently empty.

Luckily, I’m not doing too bad, money-wise. I have had to make a few infrastructure purchases (a new desk chair for my aching back, my cable/internet bill, etc.), but that was all planned for. I’ve still got a bunch of money in the bank, plus another check coming from work, and a large tax refund, as well. Hopefully, this means I won’t run into any real money trouble before I get a new job.

In other news, I haven’t really spoken out loud in over 24 hours. I exaggerate only a little bit; earlier today I muttered “I hate this place, I hate it here, I hate it here” to myself, but hey, that barely counts as speaking.

I haven’t had a cigarette since the 6th of February. I am not particularly happy about this. Hopefully, this will get easier as time goes on, but for now, I am incredibly frustrated and angry all day, every day. I’m also feeling very out of sorts, and empty, and even somewhat pained. It hurts. I don’t really give a shit about my health, I think this has been established, and frankly I’ve given even less of shit for the last few years, for reasons I no longer bother speaking about.

So, it’s not my health that has me not smoking. Basically, I just don’t want to deal with my parents and their unspoken disappointment. I’ve made a lot of changes to my lifestyle, large and small, while I’ve been living here, just so I don’t have to deal with any of that shit. This is likely another reason I’m so annoyed all the time. But, yeah, this is another whole big topic that I don’t think I should speak about. Whatever.

What else? Not much. Seriously, there’s nothing really happening. To recap: I’m not having much luck looking for work while being in a constant shitty mood because I haven’t had a cigarette in a while and I hate living where I’m currently living. Exciting, isn’t it.

Wonder what this entry would have been line had I let myself whine, eh? Hah!

I’m starting my regimented job hunt schedule today, two weeks after I originally thought I’d start - my grandma’s passing and my ridiculously protracted recovery from the flu were both unexpected - and I’m already growing frustrated. I’m looking on Craigslist at the moment, as this is my time devoted to looking for “temporary” job types, i.e. stuff I could do for a bit for some money that I wouldn’t give a shit about leaving on short notice. What I’m seeing, however, is a really shitty job market.

I’m seeing jobs that have unrealistic compensation, mainly. I mean, how can anyone be expected to live in NYC on $9 an hour, or something equally ridiculous? I’m also seeing some incredibly unrealistic job descriptions. For example, this one just got me angry:

IT Coordinator with experience in managing computer networks, SQL, digital phone systems, copier maintenance and website development/maintenance. Knowledge with medical office software programs preferred. 20hrs/wk with room for growth. Please fax resume with salary requirements to 5551231234.

Let’s look at this. They want someone who can do computer networks, is also a SQL programmer (that’s a database thing), AND knows digital phone systems, AND can do copier machine maintenance AND website stuff, oh and yeah, should know medical office software. Oh, and it’s PART-TIME. And, icing on the cake for me, like a lot of jobs advertised in NYC, they will only accept FAXES.

Okay. Am I crazy, or is this just a RIDICULOUS job posting? Are these people insane? Especially the thing about sending your resume and salary requirements. That means they are looking to pay the savant who can do all they mention something like $10 an hour or less, but don’t want to come out and say it direct.

I wish this wasn’t indicative of the sort of job postings I’m seeing, but it is. This is about average. If it isn’t something ridiculous like this, it’s something so boring and horrible, my head hurts. Like, “come do all the office shit none of us want to do! we’ll give you almost no money! yay!” Yeah, um, fuck you.

Anyway, this is why I’ll probably be unemployed for ever and die poor very soon. I’m a horrible person.

Hey guys. The last few days have been particularly difficult for me. Thank goodness I was at home with my folks. See, on Tuesday afternoon, I started getting what I figured was a chest cold of some sort. It was getting pretty bad on Wednesday, so I had a couple doses of DayQuil during the day, and a rather large dose of NyQuil before going to sleep. That was, possibly, a horribly bad idea.

I woke up on Thursday feeling like ass, and, as I was taking a shower, I fainted. I remember starting to feel really dizzy…and then, next thing I knew, I was on the floor of the bathroom. Somehow, I managed to hold my shit together long enough to turn off the shower, dry myself off, and get dressed. I waited until my mom got home, and then went up and explained what happened to her. After that, well, let’s say I had a couple more dizziness episodes and some vomiting episodes. It was ridiculously scary.

I spent pretty much the entirety of Thursday lying down. Friday morning, I saw our old family doctor, who confirmed that I had that nasty Flu that was going around, but didn’t have any other complications. He prescribed some meds, and then we went home and I spent most of Friday lying down as well, fighting through a fever.

Today, I’m barely strong enough to sit up and use my computer, and mind you, I plan on going and lying down on the couch in a little bit. At least I can eat, and start building up my strength.

These last few days have been scary, and I’m really lucky I had my parents to help take care of me. Thursday was perhaps the scariest day of my life so far.

Anywho, that’s what is up with me. See you guys next time, when hopefully I’ll be feeling even a little more human.